Welcome to Geriatric Park

Is Me-2 affecting U-2?

Yeah, the Me-2 movement! That means I’m not allowed to refer to people my own age as “dinosaurs.” According to THEM … whoever THEY are, I can’t even refer to people my age as “old people.”

So, let’s see, we will have to change Neil Young’s ballad from “Old man take a look at my life …” to “Elderly Person take a look at my life.” Or how about that tune we learned as children? “Old man river, he just keeps rollin …” Now we have to have “Elderly man river, he just keeps…” Or Simon and Garfunkel “Old Friends,” now has to be “Elderly Friends, sat on a park bench like bookends.”

Call it what you will, “OLD AGE SUCKS,” and being old just ain’t what it used to be, is it? We faced a lot throughout our lives, and now we face, “… the dread of something after death, the undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns.” (Hamlet – Act 3, Scene 1)

Like so many others before (and after) me, there was no plan. Retirement was not a destination, it was not even a desire, it just happened. For me! Personally! Retirement was like the onset of a terminal illness.

October, seven years ago, I was a worker-bee, buzzing away at the job. Then, on November 11th the letter arrived: “Due to changes in our organization and the need for restructuring, we regret to inform you that…” A few months short of 25 years, on December thirty-first, it was all over. She and I began making plans for what comes next. Me, 65 years old, and she 66, we are suddenly passing through the golden door into the promised land flowing with government checks and pension deposits. Ah, the sweet life!

The doorway to those Golden Years!

Seriously! Who coined that term? “The golden years?” Was it a retired person? I seriously doubt that. Retirees know better. One even said, “The only thing golden about my retirement is my pee.”

No, it’s the financial planners, money brokers, and other “retirement experts” who want to paint the glorious image of how wonderful life will be when we, finally, after all of those THOUSANDS of hours of laboring to care for our families, MUST leave our jobs for a better life! A life in which they claim,

“You will finally have the freedom to do all the things you’ve wanted to do!”

Of course, they forget to mention the cost of doing those things, and that you should have begun saving for it when you were 12 years old!

Yes, that tiny, little, caveat of our sudden and often drastic change in income. For my wife and I, who both had careers, ours income was about to be less than half of what we were accustomed to, and there is absolutely no hope for future promotions or raises in pay, just that measly COL increase in Social Security that is more than offset by the increase in everything else we have to pay for.

Of course, if you’re healthy and happy enough, there are JOBS to augment your income, which, also augment your tax bracket. Besides, who wants to retire from a career, only to work at a menial position like a cart pusher, ticket-taker, counter wiper, etc. It’s sheer, but too often necessary, humiliation.

Dealing with the reality of it…

FOR US…and not everyone is us; we had a home with some equity, a severance package, and a bit of other savings. We also had a considerable amount of debt. So we used most of our money paying off what we owed in order to pass through the GOLDEN DOOR debt free.

Upon retiring, we owned a relatively new vehicle, and found a cute little manufactured home in a cute little 55+ community near the east coast of Florida. (To have a cute little manufactured home meant investing a small fortune purchasing and extensively remodeling it.) So, now it’s a cute little manufactured home, which also means we are no longer free of debt!

It was quite an adjustment to make. For the first couple years it felt more like we were on a vacation at the beach. But trading our 2000 ft., four bedroom brick home and two-car garage for a 24×60 ft modular home with a carport. Well, I wouldn’t say that we “broke even.” What a treat! Right?

To us, the golden years are more or less just a pale yellow.

Now, let’s deal with the bright side!

Still, we made out okay and live comfortably. Actually, for the most part, much better than many others that we are aware of. After a few years of “getting things the way we want them,” we are very grateful to have as much as we do. We live near to our daughter, which was the plan for moving here all along,.

My view changed considerably now that we have put a few years behind us. Our ‘manufactured home’ sits in front of a rather large water retention pond that we call a lake. Our sunroom facing “the lake” has nine large windows, in front of which Kate and I have our matching desks where we sit and write on an almost daily basis.

On any given day there are dozens, and at times, hundreds of ducks swimming, splashing, and quacking about. We have seen otters, snakes, (no alligators-yet), turtles-a-plenty, and we have resident foxes, bobcats, wild turkeys (by the dozens), Sandhill cranes, wood storks, herons, egrets, cormorants, anhingas, an occasional gallinule, and plenty of other birds, squirrels, and the like. It’s quite the Geriatric Park!

Bentley Rose (aka: Boo)

On top of all that, we have Bentley! Bentley is not our butler, SHE, is our dog. We call her a pinche, or a chipin, i.e. part mini-pinscher, and we think maybe, part chihuahua, but she mostly favors the mini-pinscher. Her full name is Bentley Rose, but I often refer to her as Boo. I have no idea why. It just fit. Boo is the quintessential retirement companion. Unlike me, she’s housebroken, obedient, and does not bark.

Geriatric park is what you make it!

So, throwing your shoulder against that golden doorway will be far better if you begin early, prepare and save for it?” More and more people are living to a very old age, and it takes a lot more money than it did in “the good old days.”

Are you excited? Or are you ambivalent and a bit frightened as I was? Don’t worry, whatever happens, you will adjust and you will will find a way to enjoy your circumstances if you keep a positive attitude and MAKE your new life happen.

I think I read it somewhere in the Bible, but: “Whether you have a little, or you have a lot, learn to be content with these things!”

Have a happy and joyful retirement!